Have you ever heard of the Wisconsin Dells? No, neither had I until I went about researching waterparks. With an uptick in COVID cases in Texas, we needed to find an alternative than our normal Schlitterbahn trip. Insert Noah’s Ark in Wisconsin Dells. Touted as America’s Largest Waterpark and the Dells being touted as the Waterpark Capital of the World it seemed like a no-brainer to experience —Wisconsin.
Flights vary in price, but we got a steal on a non-stop from San Diego to Chicago. With Wisconsin only being a few hours away we figured we would make this a road-trip style trip. Starting in a known commodity like Chicago and venturing to the unknowns in Wisconsin. Our flight was expected to in late so we were a bit anxious about dinner, but our flight was super smooth and we even arrived early. Upon landing, we went to get our rental car. Grant began to gab with the lady at the counter and low and behold the gabbing worked as we were rewarded with an upgrade— a 4 door Jeep Wrangler. Not the ideal car for a long road trip, but with a removal top and gas cheap we thought why not!
Anytime we are in Chicago we habitually go to our favorite modern Italian restaurant, Siena Tavern. Not expecting to get in until after close we did not make reservations. As Grant drove into the city, I quickly found reservations at their sister restaurant Bar Siena. Just as good and whenever your starving it tastes even better. The last few times we have been to restaurants Grant has surprisingly been the one who has been over-ordering and this time was no different. He ordered— a Caesar salad. I mean come on….when there is a slew of cheese bread, meatballs, gnocchi, pizza… the idea of getting a salad after all that is just ridiculous. HAHA….had to tease him as I am usually the one getting in trouble for over-ordering.
We walked around the city a bit and then drove to our hotel. We had booked a nice 4-star hotel in central downtown. Upon entering, we were told that the room we had booked was unavailable and the whole hotel had been overbooked. They were super helpful and booked a hotel down the street for us. So from the Rafello to the Talbott, we went. Overnight parking in downtown Chicago is insane. Our hotel room was $100, and the parking was $50. Bad call on our part, but lesson learned.
The next morning Grant wanted to wander around Chicago and I put a kaput to that. This was a Wisconsin trip and not an Illinois trip. So we ran over to Whole Foods got my morning orange juice and started driving. There isn’t a lot to see between Chicago and Milwaukee, but they do have a cheese castle. Mars Cheese Castle in Kenosha, Wi is a must stop. A tourist trap in the shape of a castle is filled with cheese and any other snacks you can imagine. They also had a small restaurant inside that served fried cheese curds, cheeseburgers, and other random goodies. So of course we got the local house-specials and hit the road for the remainder of our trip. While it didn’t look fancy or even good— the taste was pretty spectacular. Going to have to try and make fried cheese curds myself. We attempted to make it to the Jelly Belly Factory that was also there, but it was closed due to the holiday.
Not much further and we were in Milwaukee. The city didn’t resonate with us. It was charming and had some quaint spots such as the Riverwalk and the Old Third Ward, but it seemed like it was struggling. A lot of places were closed, which was expected because of COVID, but a lot just seemed out completely. The Milwaukee Public Market was a nice treat and we grabbed some snacks there. The prize waterfront was well-manicured and surrounded by museums. The largest and most popular museum was the Harley Davidson Museum but again didn’t get either Grant’s or my heart racing to visit. Upon doing a bit of research we learned that Kopp’s Frozen Custard was the place to try and eat. Kopps was like the equivalent of In-and-Out in California with custard instead of ice cream. We grabbed another cheeseburger and hit the road to Madison.
Madison was about an hour outside of Milwaukee. I think the expectation was that there were going to be a lot of roadside attractions to see. However, we only saw cheese stands, firework stands, antique stands, and farms. It was a peaceful drive and eventually, we would make it over to Madison. Before we got there we decided to stop one additional time at Culver’s. Wisconsin loves this place as every exit had one. I think there were more Culver’s than McDonald's and Jack-In-The-Boxes combined on this trip. Culver’s claim to fame is their butter burger. A burger that adds butter to the cooking process, bun, and anything else you can imagine. I noticed the butter, but Grant did not. For those keeping count— that was our third burger that day.
Because Madison was halfway between Milwaukee and the Dells I thought it would be the perfect in-between spot for this trip. Madison is a lot like Sacramento in that there is a capital, surrounding colleges, and some charming local restaurants. You would not have guessed it, but the city was virtually a ghost town. A lot was closed due to COVID, a lot was still closed because of protests, and the few remaining restaurants open were chains that did not interest us. Striking out in both Milwaukee and Madison we decided to fast-track Wisconsin Dells.
What a random city! If you ever want to relive traveling in the 90’s go here. Arcades, old-time photoshops, fudge making, horrible tacky tourist spots like haunted houses… I mean anything you can imagine its there. It should come as no surprise to anyone who is reading this that we of course did the horrible haunted house. Like a haunted house at a fair— not only was it not scary, but funnier than anything. The next stop was Wizard’s Quest. This required a bit of convincing for Grant. A) he does not like wizards; B) this was a scavenger hunt and Grant can’t find the croutons in the panty when they are right in front of him. However, he was a good sport and did this for me. A 13k square foot scavenger hunt divided into 4 sections that had us traveling down slides, entering secret passageways, and crawling on the floor. After 30 minutes we finding things we were over it, but we still had a few more clues. 10 minutes later we wrapped it up and officially wrapped up our first night in the Dells.
The next morning as a compromise for doing Wizard’s Quest Grant got to sleep in. There was not a lot to see or eat in between Madison or the Dells and a hungry Grant means we are stopping anywhere that won’t get us sick. We ended up stopping at Pizza Ranch, which was like CiCis pizza so I was secretly in heaven. We drove over to the Dells and went to our main attraction for this trip—Noah’s Ark. Well…let’s just say we won’t be coming back here. The majority of rides were closed, people were everywhere, and what was open had ridiculous wait times. We rode everything open and then decided to cut our losses. We went back to the main area of the Dells and went on a riverboat tour of the Wisconsin River. The tour took us up and down the river and stopped at the Witches Gultch to get out and view the unique rock formation up close and personal. To us, this was the highlight of the trip and quickly rescued a day that was spiraling.
After the tour, Grant and I talked about returning to Madison or driving back to Chicago early. It was mutually decided to skip Madison and head back to Chicago to avoid having to get up early for our flight. So we drove back and along the way realized that we would be back in time for Siena Tavern. Along the way, we were treated to a firework show as soon as 9 pm hit the fireworks were lit from all sides of us blazing away into the city. We ate our restaurant and walked around the city a bit. We checked into our third hotel and then checked out for the night.
With COVID going on we decided that we would see some of the places that we would not normally go to. I never thought I would go to Wisconsin, but I am glad that I did. Up next is Boise and Minnesota so I am excited about what trouble we can into there.