With things costing more and more, if you ever need a break— go to Austin. Not because the cost of living is more affordable than in California, but because everything is free. Going to a city and not having to spend any money will elevate that city’s rating in your mind.
First, our flight was free. During Christmas of 2022, there was a huge debacle with Southwest and one of our flights was canceled. To make up for it Southwest gave us 50k points, which was enough for this trip. Since it didn’t impact our Christmas all that much— this was a major freebie.
Every year, we make our annual pilgrimage to the most epic/unsafe water park in the U.S. - Schlitterbahn! This year we had a new crop of attendees: Allison and Louis, as well as some returning friends Mike and Catey; the latter two being Annual Schlitterbahn O-G’s and making their triumphant return after several years of living in Germany. Everyone was thrilled to be going and with the temperatures being over 100 degrees the waterpark would be a nice reprieve from the heat of Texas.
Allison and Louis landed first, a day before we did, and explored Austin. They seemed to have a fun time checking out the local sites and even did a private murder tour. Upon landing were attempting to meet up with them at the Congress Bridge to see the famous bat flight that happens when the sun begins to set, but missed it by a few minutes. Something to look forward to next time! 🦇
We quickly checked into our hotel, Sheraton at the Capital, and then decided to go grab a bite to eat. It was a little bit of a bummer to find out that the hotel was under major construction. The positive was that Allison complained after having a rough prior night with the noise pollution and was able to procure 4 free breakfast vouchers for the morning!
At the hotel, Allison and Louis found out about a nearby Mexican restaurant called Pelons. Grant and I had never heard of it, but it was within walking distance and was the choice of the hotel. The whole experience was quite normal until it was not. We ordered drinks, appetizers, and entrees. The highlight of the meal was the queso dip. It was so yummy that we ended up getting two orders. Then the bartender came over and said that someone at the bar ordered a drink and wanted me to pass it onto another table. Free drink— sure! We planned on saying thank you when we left and continued with our meal. It was getting late and Allison flagged down the waiter to get the check. Our waiter came and told us that the gentleman that had given us the drink had also covered our tab! What? A completely free meal paid for by a stranger? Don’t mind if we do!
We went out to meet our generous benefactor and his name was Jonathan. Just a nice guy in town on business who wanted to pay it forward. The meal was probably $200 after all was said and done so that was a kind gesture! He was a bit mysterious, but I think he wanted it that way. His only request was that we tried to do the same for someone else!
The night was still young so we decided to head out to visit the nightlife. Our first stop was Firehouse Hostel. A speakeasy that moonlighted as the entry point to another more exclusive speakeasy called Floppy Disk Repair. We showed up at Firehouse and went in. From there, we tried to get the passcode but were shot down without buying a drink. So I tried to order a drink—but they were out of Dissarono. Okay, how about this one? Sure! Okay, what is the passcode now? Oh everyone has to order a round not just you to get the code. Umm…pass! It turned out that they were out of the stuff to make my 2nd drink so we knew this was a bust! Grant was livid and quite vocal about his disdain for “straight” bars after this. The exclusivity is the allure, but also the annoyance.
Instead, Grant was over these bars and quickly escorted us all out and power-walked us to a nearby gay club, called Oilcan Harry’s, which had no cover charge, a free drag show, go-go dancers, and no requirement to buy a drink. Grant was happy (and friendly) again. We watched the show, tipped all the queens, and then started the 2nd drag show of the evening before heading out. On the way back to the hotel, we wandered around the bar-heavy 6th Street and watched the odd driving behavior of both the self-driving cars and the drunk humans. Each has complications of their own and difficulty moving forward. Fun times!
As soon as Grant and I got in the room and turned the lights off—I was out. The next morning the plan was to meet up at 9 am for our free continental breakfast. However, there was no continental breakfast, but rather a full-service breakfast! Major upgrade! It was a bit slower than we had expected, but a tastier experience! (Sorry Catey and Mike for being late!)
Parking at the hotel was $42 overnight. Expensive parking for sure! As we went to leave there were 3 cars ahead of us. It appeared that the car in the front was struggling to get out for some reason. Right then and there the guy in the third car goes up to the arm and lifts it up. The first car goes, and the second car goes before the guy could even get back in his car— Grant zips around him and leaves without paying. Free parking! Gotta love free!
From there we set off to Schlitterbahn! Up close parking, security, and blast pass watch got! This was the first year that we had come that the park was under remodeling. The locker room that we always would use was taken out and the ever-bumpy hillside that ran through the locker room was closed. You never realize how much of a creature of habit you are until things change. We adapted, reset our barrings, found a new locker close by, and then went on our merry way.
We met up with Catey and Mike and began our adventure at the original park (there are 3) or Schlitterbahn West. After noticing the increased wait times at this park, we proceeded to go to the other parks. We rode the rides there and had a blast! Catey and Mike were smart this year and purchased one unlimited food pass for $34. The pass allowed you to get food every 1.5 hours and a drink every 15 minutes! For that price— it’s something we should consider doing next year!
We got to do almost all of the rides we wanted besides two— the Falls and Whitewater Rapids. Like last year— The Falls opened late again. This must be what they do! As soon as we could— we hopped in line, waited, got our tube, and rode the river to the aqua veyer. The last ride was White Water and it was the longest wait time of the park at 105 minutes. I suggested that we got up and see since it was our last ride if they would let us on early. If it was a girl— I was going to ask. A guy— Allison would. A gay guy - Grant. A lesbian - … Allison. It was a guy. So we tried to sweet talk this employee on his first day of work to no avail. He wanted us to go to guest services. In the words of Macaulay Culkin from Home Alone: I don’t think so. So then I kind of coerced him into letting us on. It worked. Not proud of it, but we got on and avoided the 1.5-hour wait.
Breaking from tradition, we decided to try a different post-Schlitterbahn dinner Tex-Mex restaurant called La Fonda on Main since we were heading into San Antonio for the evening. Grant and I had eaten there with his family and it was yummy. This time was no different— the food was great. What was also great was the wait staff. The waiter overheard a conversation we were having and proceeded to tell us how the produce was being impacted by the extreme heat. The serrano peppers were hotter than normal and the tomatillos were more acidic than ever. It was interesting to get this lesson and led us to appreciate the unique taste of the food even more! Plus he brought us more dips to demonstrate! It was like a wine tour but for chip dips. We joked about finding a hair in our food to get it free, to continue the tradition, but ended up happily paying for that scrupulous food! After all, it was San Antonio, not Austin. Only in Austin is everything free.
Afterward, we jetted down to the Riverwalk and remembered to visit the Alamo. Since Grant and I were staying with his family, we parted ways with Allison and Louis to drive to his parent’s home. Upon our arrival, we were warmly greeted by his mother, Carol, and we stayed up chatting with her on the back porch and unknowingly caught a meteor shower. We didn’t see a meteor shower at the time, only flashing lights reflecting off the trees that resembled lightning but that we decided was the beautiful landscape lighting malfunctioning. Eventually, everyone’s eyes got heavy and we all went to bed. In the morning, Grant’s Dad informed us the lighting was not strobing, but that we had actually seen the meteor shower, that he had told us to look for earlier that day, and we just didn’t put two and two together. Head shaking and eye rolling were deserved.
Sunday morning, we got up and met everyone at Schilo’s German-Texan Resturant. The oldest restaurant in San Antonio, founded in 1917. And by everyone I mean— Allison, Louis, Grant’s immediate family, and his uncle’s immediate family (Cousins Callie and James, Aunt Lynda, and Uncle Mark). I had never met them before so it was nice to finally meet them after hearing so much about them. There were 11 of us so getting a table was a bit tricky, but eventually, we did get one. Then we talked them into giving us a better table so we could all sit together. We almost sent Allison to complain for us but they were so kind that we didn’t have to. For some reason, between 11 adults, no one remembered to grab a photo! So you’ll have to take our word for it that this family affair happened. It wasn’t until we were driving away that it dawned on me! And to continue with the theme of “free”— Grant’s dad Jack was kind enough to pick up the tab for everyone!
The next stop was a bit of a question mark after this. Sneak into a San Antonio area resort pool, rent a pontoon boat on an Austin lake, or float the river in New Braunfels… there were a lot of options, but we decided on being underground. Caves! They had opened up a new Hidden Wonders Tour at Natural Bridge Caverns that Grant and I had not taken. Neither Allison nor Louis had been. It didn’t involve us getting wet and being underground would hopefully provide us some relief from the heat.
The caves were impressive and the tour was fun. We had a private tour with just the four of us so the tour guide was more candid than normal. It also happened to her last tour of the season so that probably helped. I haven’t verified, but it is a 3rd-degree felony to intentionally touch a cave formation. I am sure there is more to that, but since this was a cave tour and not a legal tour— the details were omitted. The formations were like I remember from the last time I did the tour and lived up to my memory of this special place. This tour was unique for two reasons— the sound/light show and the BAT. Allison enjoyed the show, but I think you needed a more creative brain to see the meaning behind the lights and sounds than I have. The other unique feature is the BAT, which stands for— Belt Assisted Transport. This is an uphill people mover or escalator that took you out of the cave. The most fun was having to watch the video of people using the machine and then having our tour guide show us how to “walk” onto, and off of, the conveyor belt. The tour ended and we left for Austin.
Along the way, we stopped once more at Buccees and then planned on going to the airport. Right around this time, we got notice that our flight was delayed so we made a pit stop for some BBQ at Terry Black’s BBQ. The assembly line to obtain food was run efficiently and we were eating in no time. Grant, having stopped for some to-go Double Dave’s Pizza Works Pepperoni Rolls after Buccees, wasn’t hungry so he went to fill the car with gas. By the time he returned, Allison, Louis, and I had scarfed down all of our food and were waiting outside for him.
After returning the rental car and going through security — we arrived at the airport early and relaxed. The plane landed, unloaded, and we boarded. Grant and I were able to get one of the exit rows to ourselves and Allison did as well!! We started to back out from the gate and everything was fine until…bump bump bump…wobble wobble wobble…it was as if the plane went over speed bumps or a bag handler who didn’t get out of the way in time. The plane came to a complete stop which we knew wasn’t good. Turns out the plane went over a tow bar (or so they say - Grant is certain it was a bag handler). They brought us back into the gate to check it out, the pilot got out, and the plane suddenly had new paperwork (Grant thinks the pilot had to identify the body and sign the death certificate). While gated— they allowed 5 new passengers on the plane, which is something we have never seen happen.
8 passengers have a connecting flight and were told they aren't going to make it due to this delay. They then say that there are hotels available, then alternative flights and that those passengers will make their connection. Those poor 8 passengers were getting jerked around and they were not happy. Eventually, they settle (which Grant and I both think is a lie) that they will make their connection. An hour later we took off and had a pleasant flight.
As a way of saying sorry— the flight attendant gave everyone, who is of age, a free drink. It only makes sense that the trip ends the same way as it started— with something free in Austin!