Having a low attention span— Grant and I have to constantly be stimulated with something new and exciting. New, Now, Next. That is the reason why we love to go to New York City. Even when we have nothing officially planned— we can somehow do a little bit of research and map out an entire trip—during the trip.
Due to some “miscommunication” at my office regarding a presentation— our Friday to Sunday trip was changed to a Saturday to Monday trip. Because of this, we had to change our flight and hotel— and with limited options available in Manhattan during NYC’s most popular month of the year, we ended up staying in Astoria at The Collective Paper Factory. It was listed as a 4-star hotel and at first, I thought it was charming and endearing. Grant instantly hated it and said, “why am I staying at a hostel.” There was one offering he liked and that was the Michaelangelo Dachshund mural above the (very uncomfortable) bed. I say it was a fine hotel and, most importantly, only a 15-minute subway ride to Times Square.
Upon landing, we met up with our friend Louis who was also in town. After reviewing the options, we settled on a show called The Alchemist. We wanted to start with a play instead of a musical to ease us into the bright lights of Broadway. We had a few hours before the play started so we just wandered around the city. We stumbled upon two notable attractions including Rockefeller Square where we posed with the Christmas tree and St. Patrick’s Cathedral to test to see if we would burn upon entering. Still living and breathing so — not a spawn of satan. My mom will be so happy to know.
Eventually, it was time to see the show. The Red Bull Theater was in a really strange multi-theater venue that also had other theater showings such as Jersey Boys and The Play That Goes Wrong going on simultaneously. Upon entering, I was instructed not to put anything on the stage no matter how tempting it was. Strange, but as I walked to the seat I clearly understood why. The space between my seat and the stage was narrower than a discount airliners economy seat. Negative— I had no room. Positive— we were super close to the action and could see the actor’s spit. That’s a weird thing to pay attention to, but is kind of our measure with theater. Can you see the spit coming from their mouths? If so—then we have good seats. Needless to say, we had great seats! The “spit-zone” Grant calls it.
The show was a slapstick play about con artists who were swindling the rich. It took a minute to figure out what was happening, but as it picked up the speed— the humor began to unfold. There was an imaginary flea named Louis as well as Louis himself being called unpleasant looking by one of the actors that made everyone cackle a bit. The second half was better than the first. I wouldn’t highly recommend it, but if you can find cheap seats it's a serviceable play to see if nothing else works out.
Afterward, we went looking for a restaurant to eat at. After passing up a taco shop, another Mexican restaurant, a Peruvian place, we ended up eating at Mama Empanada who the hostess called “Colombian.” I don’t know what it was— but all of us the next day were complaining that they had the worst gas known to man. I don’t know about Louis, but I can attest that to be true with myself and Grant’s room. Phew. It might have been the cheeseburger empanada or the buffalo chicken empanada…you know the real “authentic” Colombian food that destroyed our stomachs. Thank God this 4-star hostel had operable windows.
You know it was bad when we were worried about smelling in NYC, which is known to randomly let out a little methane itself. With a full day of travel, a nice walk around the city, and a show under our belts we turned in for the evening.
The next morning, I woke early to get a NY bagel while sleeping beauty snored away. Nothing in NY is close so you either walk long distances or take the subway. I decided to walk to Brooklyn Bagel and Coffee Company, which was about a mile away. I grabbed three bagels and brought them back to find sleeping beauty had turned into Prince Charming. Not having a place to eat the bagels we just laid them out on the bed and scarfed them down. With equal layers of bagel to cream cheese, I was in heaven, but Grant dissected his to have a more reasonably proportioned amount. He always complains that there is too much cream cheese. Ironically, the news was mentioning that there was a cream cheese shortage to which Grant timely commented—- see if you didn’t put so much then this wouldn’t be a problem. Haha.
From there we ubered into the Lower Manhattan city to meet up with Louis in Little Italy. We grabbed a cannoli and cookies and sat and ate at a restaurant called Da Gennero. We had eaten there before and got an amazing fireball/ rumchata drink, but they didn’t have it this time. The food was good. I think Louis and I liked it more than Grant. Who kept mentioning New York food doesn’t hold a candle to Chicago.
The next stop was the first of three shows for the day. Somehow as I was walking back to get a bagel— Grant woke up with a burst of energy and booked two additional shows for the day. The first one was the one show that I wanted to see, which was Jagged Little Pill. The perfect family’s life is turned upside down when the prodigal son attends a party where he witnesses a sex crime but does nothing. Things that were buried deep, with both the parents and the children, are unleashed and certain little pills make the experience extremely unpleasant. Set behind Alanis Morriseettes music with the same title— Jagged Little Pill is a must-see triumph on stage. The acting was superb and some of the musical numbers actually received standing ovations during the show. Highly recommend seeing this show in NYC or when it inevitably starts to tour. It had comedic highs mixed with tragic lows.
From there we booked it to our next show at the Soho Playhouse. Grant booked us tickets to Tammany Hall. An interactive, better known by the term “immersive”, play where you followed the interweaving stories of characters who were impacted by the mayoral debate between Mayor Walker and Commissioner La Guardia. My experience was a fun one because they loaded me with liquor in exchange for my vote for the ruthless Walker. However, Grant and Louis had an entirely different experience following an undercover cop/reporter…and they got no booze. I enjoyed the show a bit more than they did, but that was probably because of the free booze. Though they say they had a good time.
The time between show 2 and 3 was super limited, which had us a bit concerned. The subway is highly unpredictable and finding the right station/entrance/ direction for the subway is quite complicated if you are unfamiliar with the intricate subway system. Grant is not a novice and he even struggled. We were a bit late for our final show— Santa’s Secret. Seriously— I wished I had paid attention to the texts he sent me before agreeing to the actual shows.
Santa’s Secret was a drag, burlesque, aerial show, cabaret….and more all in one. Think of it as an X-Rated Christmas Show. You know — the perfect Sunday night show starts at 9 pm. I found the show just awful, but Grant and Louis who each had a very strong drink found it great. Again…I think the booze helped guide our “approval meters” on this one. It ended around 11 pm and we had not yet had dinner so, luckily being in the city that never sleeps, we hit up a local pizza spot called NY Pizza Suprema, which was right next to Madison Square Garden. After a few slices we called it a long day and retired for the night, but not before checking out the Empire State Building’s glittering lights on the way to the R Train.
That night is when my liking of the hotel went from…its cute and charming to…I hate it. The room was hot (Grant compared it to the Friends episode where the furnace was broken in the ON position), the bed was stiff, the pillow situation was horrible (me = pillow diva), we opened windows for a second night (this time due to heat, not flatulence) and the noise pollution fluttered in. I did not get a great night's sleep. So the early riser the day before turned into the groggy frog the next morning. This was not a great time as we had to be out of the hotel room with our bags to get to our 11 am showing of The Christmas Spectacular with the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes.
This is where it got interesting. Every show that we have been to so far has had no food, but a bag check/coat check. Surprise— the opposite is true for this one. So—we brought our over-stuffed backpacks with us to our seats. We were in the 2nd row and did receive a few stares about our decision. The good news was that some of the seats next to us were free so we had places to put them. The show was spectacular. I am not a huge “dance” fan, but this show pulled out all of the stops. We were again, in the spit zone. Our favorite.
Of course— around this time California was just waking up and it being a Monday the messages, emails, and phone calls began to flutter in. There was an emergency meeting being held at my office and there was some major drama unfolding. Around that same time, we were starting to get news about the egg fertilization, which made paying attention to the show extremely difficult. After getting a nasty “put your phone away” from Grant of all people— I put it away to see the rest of the show.
Afterward, we walked to see the Rockefeller Square tree one last time before heading to a Jewish kosher deli. The food that we had was a bit lackluster so we really have to up our game next time on food selection. We somehow were close to Bryant Park so we scoped that place out. Of course, right at the end, I found a place that served raclette. No idea what that is— neither did Grant or Louis. However, if you have ever seen those cheesy food porn videos where they pour ooey-gooey cheese on top of anything— this is that. The line was a bit long, but I made it my mission to have one good food outing on this trip. This was to the dismay of both Grant and Louis who were worried about missing the flight. But, after joking around with the cheese ladies — I had my amazing sandwich and we headed to the subway.
Of course, there were issues with catching the right train…so we took a different one…to get to a different line…to get to the airport…and after spending another $8 on JFK “Skytrain” (basically just a “you’re not getting from Times Square to the Airport for $3” trap)— we were there. Passed security and was able to board the plane. We saw enough shows to keep us happy and just enough before we started to get bored with seeing shows. We both are ready for our plush bed and 20 pillows. We will be sound asleep within minutes of climbing under the covers.
2 nights, 12 hours in the air, 10 subway rides, 5 live performances, and 20 showings of our Covid Vaccine Cards later we have another successful weekend trip in the books.
This is a photo of Time Square. Grant said that we were in NYC so we have to post at least one. So here it is. :)