“Give me some money I am hungry” - Trashy girl at Circus Circus FrightDome
“I'll be nice…” - Drunk lady at Zipline in Ensenada after terrorizing people all day
”I am not alone…” - One of the off-the-wall statements Kate makes when we are on the phone with here
“Is that girl leaving or she is about to walk off a cliff. Ohh... The cliff.” - Luke watching weird people do crazy things at the Fashion Valley mall
“Florida gets most of their water from the swamp. So when I perspire I really do have swamp ass. - Grant describing how most of Ft. Lauderdale gets their water.
“Let's eat at 9. Oh honey...it's called brunch not breakfast” -Luke being sassy to Janna regard early brunch
“I think your dog might have passed gas” - Alex about Pedro the dog
“Name a celebrity? Christmas.” - Poor Swedish lady who did not speak English being called out at magic show in Las Vegas
“I didn't pay” - Luke accidentally stealing Popeyes during blackout in San Diego
“No more kisses, no more hugs. You broke my heart.” - Bratty 3 year-old kid at SFO airport over dramatically screaming at her mother for not buying her something from the gift shop.
“I opened it” - Luke farting at a Hotel in NY during the Super Bowl, while holding his butt checks open so not to make a noise.
“Hello. I am an American...I am speaking slowly to minimize the effects of the language barrier...” - Grant and Luke in London talking to strangers because they speak different English then we do.
“Where is the damn sausage boy? Hey there sausage boy.....(creepy old man voice)” – Luke at Fogo De Chao.
“That’s definitely not how you do it.” - Sassy Schliterbahn Girl when Luke couldn’t get on his tube correctly.
“Get out” - abrasive woman to her husband at Kaboo after getting rear ended caused by Luke wanting to get into the lane and another car going so far as to run into another car in order to stop Luke.
“I am badly hurt” - Grant fake calling Luke as he tries to get out of work. Ignoring the story that he was told and then creating a new one about being injured and flying out of a car.
“Did you fart. No, that’s just Florida” - Luke and Grant in Tampa when a bad smell hit
“Bammm...(Luke calm face)...”did I just hit a kid?” - Luke at Dave & Busters running into a cone and rock
“Is that tea for sale?” - Grant at a farmers market in San Diego where everything is for sale.
“I am having so much fun” - Mom after a fishbowl (a two person drink) which Grant ordered.
TSA Agent: “Hey how are you?”; Luke: “It’s Christmas and I am at an airport;” TSA Agent: “That’s nice I wish I could say the same thing.” - Houston airport at Christmas
“Those are the sex jeans” - Grant narrating 50 Shades of Gray
“Why are you cryin?” - Lara imitating the dumb girls in the bathroom of Hells Kitchen in Vegas
“Did I say croutons or foam?” - Luke explaining Donde Jose in Panama testing Grant
“Where the hell is that damn chicken”— Luke looking at the menu at his favorite Indian place who removed his favorite saffron dish from the menu
“Action Nu Car Rental” - lady who doesn’t give a shit at rental car place in Florida. “I am going to perform some black magic to get your car.”
“I just want to inform you about our experience so this doesn’t happen to someone else”— Luke at HHN 2018 getting $100 knocked off bill
“Gelato…Gelato…Gelato…” - What a bratty child would say when his mother refused to give him ice cream, but offered him anything else.
Border Patrol: “Where are you going?” —— Luke: “Home”—— Border Patrol: “Sir can you remove your sunglasses?”—— Luke: “THEY’RE PRESCRIPTION!!!” - Luke and Grant leaving the Border Patrol after 2 hour wait
Luke: “What do you think your doing?”—— Grant: “I need to go to the bathroom.” —— Luke: “What…You wasted your poop already!”- Luke and Grant in Palm Springs
Luke: “Your Not Taking Photos.” Grant: “That’s because anything that is moving or isn’t moving you and Erica are taking photos of.” - Grant when in Bali
“Watch your balls” - Grant on a jet ski hitting a wave then hitting the seat—always 2 seconds to late for Luke. Ouch.
“My husband went with the wrong tour group” - Stupid family on bioluminescence tour in Puerto Rico.
“Don’t Look at Her!” Luke scolding Grant to not look at the security guard checking for VIPA status when the four of us have general admission passes at Clusterfest.
“Oh look the fire alarm is going off.” 30 seconds later…”it smells like fireworks…Oh…I think I know what happened.” Grant in San Francisco
“Are you apart of this? I have never done an escape room, but I have done room escape.”- Dumb girls at Saw Escape Room
"You better hurry up because Round 2 is coming…” Luke needing to use the bathroom really really bad.
Luke: “Where is your bag?” Grant: “It’s on my back.” Luke: “No Grant, your roller bag.” Grant: “Its on the plane.” — Going through customs in Japan